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Sexless Marriage Makes Him Desperate

Q. I am one of those old-fashioned men who was brought up believing sex was for after you got married. I never thought about the possibility my wife would have no sex drive at all.
After 21 years of little or no sex, I find myself depressed and empty. I have made so many attempts to help her find some value in it, but discussions with marriage counselors have revealed that my wife has issues that keep her from being interested in sex.
What am I to do? Seeking a girlfriend is out of the question. I married “for better or for worse.” I have always had a strong drive, but over the past few years it has become stronger and harder to control. It’s tearing me apart and driving me towards suicide. I just don’t know what to do anymore.
A. Please seek counseling for your depression. If your wife realized the impact this is having, she might be willing to find ways to ease your discomfort without intercourse.

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About the Author
Terry Graedon, PhD, is a medical anthropologist and co-host of The People’s Pharmacy radio show, co-author of The People’s Pharmacy syndicated newspaper columns and numerous books, and co-founder of The People’s Pharmacy website. Terry taught in the Duke University School of Nursing and was an adjunct assistant professor in the Department of Anthropology. She is a Fellow of the Society of Applied Anthropology. Terry is one of the country's leading authorities on the science behind folk remedies..
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