Callous Remark Causes Needless SUffering

Q. I’m so furious I don’t know where to begin. My wife had a car accident in her 20s and since then has had over 20 surgeries on her jaw. With all the pins and bone grafts, she’s always been in tremendous pain.
We tried everything and I mean everything: biofeedback, hypnosis, acupuncture, herbs, ice, heat plus unorthodox methods which eventually bankrupted us. Her doctor finally convinced her to take one Darvocet in the morning and one at night. She’s been on this dosage for 22 years, has held a good job, and had a reasonable quality of life until now.
She still suffers pain every day (you can see it in her eyes), but she’s been able to withstand it due to the medication. A co-worker told my wife last month, “You’re nothing but a drug addict.” This devastated my wife and she refuses to take the pain med now. Her pain has once again escalated and she lost her job.
She won’t listen to her doctor (a caring and responsible physician who monitors her closely) or to me. Watching her suffer needlessly is killing me.
This co-worker caused untold suffering with her thoughtless remark. My wife has been so responsible in taking this medicine. Is there anything I can say that will convince her to go back to her treatment?
A. Your wife’s co-worker was cruel and knows nothing about pain, pharmacology or proper treatment. No one should suffer the kind of pain your wife has been through.
Physicians who understand chronic pain prescribe narcotic analgesics to provide appropriate relief. Now that Darvon and Darvocet have been removed from the market because of FDA safety concerns, your wife will need to talk this over with her physician to find a substitute pain medication.
Many people with unremitting pain live productive lives taking stronger pain relievers on a daily basis with no serious consequences. They should not be considered drug addicts. Please ask your wife to discuss this with her doctor again. She should not have to suffer because of such a lack of compassion from a co-worker.