775 Married to Distraction

How can a couple make their marriage better? Paying attention to each other is critical, but what if one of them has ADD? Even without ADD, busy schedules and interruptions with work, text messages, email and other demands can make time together and good communication more challenging. Our guests have personal as well as clinical experience to back up their excellent advice.
Guests: Edward M. (Ned) Hallowell, MD, is a child and adult psychiatrist and founder of the Hallowell Centers for Cognitive and Emotional Health in Sudbury, MA and New York City. He is the author of Driven to Distraction and 17 other books, as well as many scholarly articles. His latest book, written with his wife, is Married to Distraction: Restoring Intimacy and Strengthening Your Marriage in an Age of Interruption.
Sue George Hallowell, LICSW, has been a practicing couples’ therapist for more than twenty-five years.
The websites are www.drhallowell.com and www.adhdmarriage.com
The podcast of this program will be available the Monday after the broadcast date. Podcasts can be downloaded for free for six weeks after the date of broadcast. After that time has passed, digital downloads are available for $2.99. CDs may be purchased at any time after broadcast for $9.99.
Edward M. Hallowell, M.D.
10 TIPS ON MARRIAGE / RELATIONSHIPS
1. Remember what you like about the other person. Keep it in the back of your mind for those moments when you’re angry.
2. Think not just about what the other person can do to make things better, but what you can do to make things better.
3. Couples are too busy these days. You’ve got to make protected time for each other, time just for the two of you, and you need to do this at least a half hour a week, preferably more. Many couples spend more time exercising than being with each other. One way around that is to exercise together!
4. Respect. Respect. Respect. Try always to treat your partner with respect. Repeated put-downs can become a habit and mark the beginning of the end of a relationship.
5. Play. Let yourselves set aside your inhibitions and be silly. Do foolish things together. Have a pillow fight. Play tag. Tickle each other. Tell jokes. Play pranks on each other. Never take yourselves too seriously. As long as you can laugh, you’ll be ok.
6. Celebrate. Studies show that it is more important to be there for your spouse to celebrate good times than it is to be supportive in bad times. Of course, support in bad times matter, but it is even more predictive of success in a relationship if you can celebrate good times together.
7. Present a united front to your kids. Otherwise you will undermine each other. This is not good for you and it is not good for the kids.
8. Say something nice, something you like about your spouse at least once a day.
9. Feel free to make fun of tips on marriage–like these–but don’t make fun of taking seriously the idea of each day doing what you can to make your relationship better.
10. Give your spouse permission to have a life of his or her own outside the marriage, be it friends, groups, career, hobbies, or other activities.
Find more at www.adhdmarriage.com